


To See a World in a Snowflake

by divine529



Series: To See a World in a Snowflake [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Ice Skating, John is in Italy for a chapter, M/M, Metaphors, Pining Sherlock, Pining!John, Sherlock is the biggest idiot, Snow Kisses, Uni!lock, Victor is a dick wad, bisexual!John, broomball, but on a sexual spectrum it would be bisexual!john and sherlock is gay, cheating (not Sherlock or John), demiromantic!sherlock, glimpses through time, lots of snowflakes, multiple POVs, snowflakes, so biromantic!john, this is meant to be choppily written as it's glimpses in time, this is more of a story on the romantic spectrum though, walks in the snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-17 12:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5868886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divine529/pseuds/divine529
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every snowflake has a story to tell. Each one is a new world or a new universe and when it snows, each person can get a glimpse as to what those other worlds could be. Each snowfall is the chance to live a new life in a world very similar to our own, or in an alternate universe or even a different time period. Sometimes, in very rare cases, it can show people’s lives. </p><p>This follows Sherlock and John's path, through glimpses of their lives both separate and together. This is their journey, starting at university.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John and Mary

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me a few weeks ago when I was watching snow fall outside my window. From there I remembered a conversation I had with a friend about snow and snow globes and then this formed and would not go away. 
> 
> ~ represents lapse in time
> 
> I haven't written anything of substance in about 5 years so I'm probably a bit rusty. 
> 
> The title of this comes from William Blake's "Auguries of Innocence" but I changed it a bit. 
> 
> "To see a world in a grain of sand,  
> And Heaven in a wild flower,  
> Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,  
> And Eternity in an hour."

Every snowflake has a story to tell. Each one is a new world or a new universe and when it snows, each person can get a glimpse as to what those other worlds could be. Each snowfall is the chance to live a new life in a world very similar to our own, or in an alternate universe or even a different time period. Sometimes, in very rare cases, it can show people’s lives. Mostly it shows the lives of people who have an incredibly strong connection, but at times it can also be the ones we only have a slight connection to. Today it’s snowing and it’s beautiful. And today, we get some snippets of two people’s lives, first separate and then together, like two snowflakes that connect when they fall. It’s that connection that makes it all worth it.

 

As the snow falls, the hidden sun casts its light on a particular snowflake. It has fernlike dendrites and a diamond looking center with a hexagon snowflake at its center. As we look closer we see a young man walking across a school campus and now our adventure truly begins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Watson walks into his Intermediate Latin class in a daze. The first few days of his second year at university have all been a blur; constantly running from the bookstore to the supply shop and then to his room, it’s only been a day into the new term and he’s exhausted.

As he winds his way through the desks, he plops his bag onto the ground and clumsily falls into his seat. With his head on his desk, he doesn’t realize that someone has come up to him.

“You’re John Watson, right?”

He jumps in his seat at the sound and his head whips around to find its origin. He hears a giggle to his left and sees a young lady with short blond hair, a red cardigan and a floral skirt and replies with a smile, “Yes that would be me, I’m afraid I don’t know your name though.”

“I’m Mary, Mary Morstan. Do you mind if I sit down?” she asks hesitantly, pointing to the empty desk to his right.

“No not at all, Mary.” he replies as he gestures to the seat. She sits gracefully down and just as she’s about to continue the conversation, the professor walks in and trailing her is a tall boy with ridiculously curly hair in a black suit.

“Good morning, class. I trust you all had lovely summers?”

The class replied in unison, “Yes, Professor Hudson” and then she continued “Good, good! Now to begin, this is Sherlock, he’s going to be your TA and the Latin tutor this year.” He nodded in greeting and Professor Hudson continued, “Now, I’m passing out your class syllabi and we’ll read through it together, but first, a little review of the declensions and conjugations.”

The rest of class went by quickly and as soon as it was over, John saw the curly haired boy, Sherlock, he reminded himself, bolt through the door. Sherlock was brilliant, he’d done some talking in class and even corrected the professor a few times and John found himself wanting to get to know him; befriend him.

As he was packing up his things, Mary turned to him and said “Well I guess I’ll see you around John. Have a good rest of your day.” Then she turned around and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John never got around to having any conversations with Sherlock nor did he have any more real conversations with Mary again until the beginning of November.

As he was walking over to the dining hall in the cold and alone, he noticed Mary walking in his direction.

He stopped and turned toward her and waved, “Mary!” he shouted.

She stopped in her tracks and looked for the source of the sound and smiled when she saw John standing there in his brown jacket and blue scarf, “Hey John!”

“How have you been, lately?” John panted, slightly out of breath when he reached her.

“I’ve been good. Just about to head to dinner.”

John smiled and replied, “I’m heading to dinner as well. Are you eating with anyone?”

“No, I’m alone tonight.”

“Me too. Do you want to eat with me?”

“Sure, that would be nice.”

John nodded and they walked the rest of the way to the dining hall.

Once they had gotten inside and gone upstairs to the dining hall, they walked into the food area and each grabbed trays agreeing to meet by the dessert table once they were finished getting their meals.

As soon as they were settled at their table and had started eating, John asked, “So Mary, how has your semester been going?”

“It’s been going fairly well so far, but really busy”

“What are you studying?”

“Chemistry. What about you?”

“I’m double in pre-med and history”

“That’s quite an interesting combination. What do you want to do with that?”

“Well someday I hope to be a doctor, but the history is mostly for fun.”

“Alright.”

They ate in silence for a bit before Mary asked, “What do you like to do for fun John?”

John set down his fork and crossed his arms on the ledge of the table while leaning in and replied “Um, well, in my free time I like to read and write mostly but I also love to travel.”

“Very nice. I’m in a few clubs here like ballroom and the non-audition choir but when I’m not here I don’t do too much.”

“Really? I definitely see you as the adventurous type.”

“I can be. Next year I’ll be abroad for part of it.”

“That’ll be excellent! Where are you off to?”

“Oh I’ll just be on the continent and every few weeks I’ll travel around, finishing off my credits. Each country will be a different subject that’s not chemistry. Should be fun”

“That sounds amazing! I’ll be abroad as well, in Italy finishing up my history studies.”

“It should be and yours sounds like it’ll be great too.”

“I’m really excited for it. When we get back we should sit down and talk about our experiences.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

For the next four hours they continued their conversation talking about everything from different periods of history to the classes they were taking. When there was a pause in the conversation, Mary glanced down at her watch and her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw what time it was.

“John, I’m afraid I really have to go do homework now. I really enjoyed this and maybe we can do it again sometime?”

John grinned at the idea and felt his face heat up in what he knew was a deep red blush, “Yes I would like that, but let me at least walk you to where you need to go.”

Mary huffed a laugh and ultimately replied “Sure, but it’s going to be a bit of a walk.”

“That’s alright” John replied, “I don’t have much work to do tonight.”

“Alright” she replied and then they left the dining hall, starting their long walk across campus chatting animatedly the whole way.

After ten minutes of walking, they finally reached Mary’s destination; the library. Mary turned to John and said “Thanks for walking me, John.”

“Not a problem at all.” He replied

“Well, I’d better get studying” she pointed over her shoulder with her deep purple mittens.

“Yes, I suppose you better. I’ll text you about hanging out again? Would that be ok?”

“Absolutely. Have a good night, John” she said and turned to head into the library.

“Thanks and you too! Good luck studying.” He sighed in reply as she was already in the doors.

As he started his walk back to his dorm, he couldn’t help but look back at the library just to make sure that Mary hadn’t come back out, but she never did. So instead, John reflected back on the evening and realized that he really enjoyed Mary’s company and being around her and he decided that he couldn’t wait until their next dinner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next month John and Mary’s dinners became more and more frequent and sometimes even turned into weekly brunches. And over that period, John found himself becoming more and more besotted with her After Christmas break, term started up again and things had resumed like before.

John’s crush on Mary became more and more prominent, to the point that his friends had started noticing and asking him about it, and one day, as John was leaving the biology lab, his friend Mike Stamford cornered him and asked him about it.

“John! Wait up!”

John kept walking, not wanting to have the conversation he knew was coming.

“John!” Mike shouted and John could tell he was getting closer so he braced himself.

He clenched his eyes shut and turned around slowly, “Hey Mike. What’s up?”

“I could ask the same about you, John. What’s going on with you and Mary, hmm? He panted, still trying to catch his breath from running.

“We had a class together last term Mike, we’re friends.” He huffed and hoped he sounded convincing

“I don’t believe you for one second, John Watson!”

John sighed and his shoulders sagged slightly, “Fine, I may like her a little bit more that friends.”

“A _little_ bit?” he said as his eyebrows rose incredulously.

He rolled his eyes in response “You get the point”

Mike grunted in response and then his face brightened with a Cheshire grin.

John took one look at Mike and said “Oh no. I know what you’re thinking and I won’t do it!”

“It’s just one game, John! It could be fun for her!”

“Mike, it’s outside in the freezing cold, watching a bunch of us play broomball; a sport virtually no one has ever heard of. What makes you think she’ll be interested in that?”

“It’s broomball and I’m sure she’d go for you. Besides, it’s a new experience and she seems like the adventurous type.”

“Alright, I’ll mention it to her and see what happens.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As it turns out, Mary did want to go to the game, so at 8:00 PM, she showed up at the ice rink. She spotted the team and gave a small wave and Mike waved back. He slid over to John who was wearing goalie gear and tapped him on the shoulder while pointing to where Mary was standing. John’s head swiveled around and found her standing at the edge of the rink and shuffled over to her. And just then Mary noticed that they were in their street shoes, but before she could voice her question, John spoke.

“Mary” he grinned, “I’m so glad you came!”

“Thanks for inviting me, John. This looks like it’ll be a lot of fun.”

John his face red from the cold replied, “Yeah, it should be a good time. We’re just about to start, as soon as some of the other members show up from the other team.”

Mary smiled as she started to sit down and said, “Sounds good.”

John nodded and then pointed over his left shoulder and said “Well I’d better get back.”

“Go on. Have fun” she replied as John slid back over to his teammates.

A few minutes went by and they were still in need for one more player and that player, based off the rule book, had to be female. Ultimately Mike went over to Mary and suggested that she play.

“No Mike! I have no idea how the rules work beyond the fact that it’s on ice, played in street shoes and that you score goals with small plastic sticks.”

He chuckled and rested his arms on the ledge “You don’t need to know much beyond that. Just think of football and hockey and if you combine the two minus some padding, and you have broomball.”

After much deliberation she finally agreed and they got her a helmet. All other padding was not provided, since it’s not a legitimate sport under the university’s standards, mostly because of budget. And once she was ready to go they explained the rules to her.

“Ok Mary, so the object is to get the ball into the net, if you’ve ever followed or played football, the positioning and rules are very similar to that. With me so far?”

“Yes, so far so good. What position will I be playing?”

“Defense. So keep the ball away from the goal as much as possible and don’t be afraid to slide. We’ve all got our fair share of bruises and cuts from these games.”

And so the game began, the ball flying from one end to the other. And the surprising part? Mary was an excellent broomball player. Her team scored 4 points whereas John’s only scored 3. In the last few minutes of the game, things got a little more intense.

“Mary, send the ball over here!”

She ran up to the ball and as soon as she swung her stick and sent the ball flying, she wiped out and landed on her face. The game kept on and soon she was getting up and yelling at her teammates directions on where to go. What she didn’t see however, was Mike running toward her teammate and ultimately stole the ball from him barreling back down towards their goal. Mike had just sent the ball flying towards the goal and the whistle was blown by the ref signaling the end of the game. And what makes it worse, the ball had gone in the goal.

After they all congratulated each other, John went over to Mary with a smile and said “That was bloody brilliant Mary! Had you ever played broomball before?”

“No, never broomball but I did play a bit of football when I was younger.”

“You must have been really good then.”

She just chuckled in reply and said “Thanks. Now I’m really cold and I’m already starting to feel my bruises start to form, so can we maybe head back to the dorms or somewhere warm?”

“Yes, yes of course.”

They started walking back to the dorms, both pensive and when they arrived they just stood around, John looking at the ground shuffling his left foot back and forth and Mary masking a smile while sticking her hands in her pocket and looking at the door.

Finally, Mary broke the silence and said “This was a lot of fun John. We should do something like this again sometime”

“Absolutely.”

“Alright, well goodnight John.” Just as she was headed for the doors, John shouted

“Mary, wait. Uh…I had a really good time too and I was wondering, what are you doing on Valentine’s Day?” he held his breath as he waited for an answer and she replied

“Oh. Um. I’m sorry John but I have a really big test the next day so I’ll probably be having a date with my textbook.”

He let out a breath “Oh. Ok. Maybe some other time. Good luck studying then.” And then he went up and hugged her.

Surprised, Mary hugged him back twinning her arms under his and resting her gloved hands on his back. “Goodnight John”

“Goodnight Mary.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John and Mary never did get to hang out. Either she was busy with school projects or other activities like ballroom dancing or John had plans.

Come early March, the Classics Society inductions rolled around and while John was already a member, he enjoyed going to the events.

He left the dining hall and was heading over to the special events room to help the professors out with the setup for the induction.

“Oh good John you’re here. The officers have done much of the room setup but we need someone outside. Would you mind helping out with keeping the inductees out of the room?”

“No not at all, Professor Hudson. Just let me know when to knock and let them all in.” He turned and walked back into the hall and reclined against the wall waiting for people to show up. As people showed up, he kept them busy by talking to them, careful not to reveal anything about the ceremony as it’s quite top secret.

Soon after, John got a text from an unknown number “ _You can knock now, we’re ready” -SH_

John thought it was a bit odd but he turned around and knocked the secret knock and when he heard the reply, opened the door and let the inductees in.

The room they entered had wooden paneling and red carpeting, wooden chairs and tables that looked to be made of mahogany and pictures of significant people who went to their school. Once all the inductees were seated, the ceremony began and it being top secret, there’s not much that can be said. However, it involved a lot of Latin, Greek and signing of books.

After the ceremony of course there were pictures, food and mingling. John talked with a few of the professors for a little while and some of his other Classics friends until he saw someone he’d been wanting to talk to for quite some time standing in the corner trying to blend in and failing miserably. Sherlock was dressed in his usual attire of dress clothes. Today he was wearing a black suit with a purple and gold stripped tie for the occasion and he looked stunning.

John walked up to him and since he didn’t want to be seen as a creep introduced himself “Hello Sherlock, I’m-.”

“John Watson, second year medical student who has a deep love for history and classics, courting Mary Morstan. You’re also planning on enlisting in the army once you’re finished with university.”

“Wow, that was fantastic! Mostly right on all counts.”

“Mostly right? What did I get wrong?”

“Well I am a second year medical student and I am planning on enlisting in the army. And while I do have a deep love for both history and classics, I’m also studying history. So I’m doubling in pre-med and history.

“There’s always something I miss.”

“It was still bloody brilliant, even if it wasn’t perfect.”

“That’s not normally what people say.”

“What do people normally say?”

“Piss off.”

John laughed and then asked “What about you then? Since you already know all about me.”

“What about me? I’m boring. Second year chemistry and philosophy student, married to my work and hopes to work as a private contractor with Scotland Yard once I’m finished.”

“You also seem to have a love for classics if you’re here.”

“They’re a necessity for life and if we don’t understand them we are truly lost as a society. Also Professor Hudson is a friend the family. I’ve known her since I was quite young and I’m also an officer of Classics Society, so I had to be here.”

“Ah I see, it’s a semi-forced kind of love”

“Technically that’s an accurate statement. I’m afraid that I’ve got to go and help clean up but it was nice talking with you.”

John didn’t want to end their interaction yet so he said “Can I help with the cleanup at all?”

Sherlock startled by this said “Sure. We could always use extra help.”

And so they put tables and chairs back in their original places and helped Professor Hudson with the food and drinks and bade her and the other officers goodnight once they were done.

“Well it was good meeting you John. Have a good night.”

“Can I walk with you to wherever you’re going?”

Sherlock hesitated and replied “Yes. I’m just going back to my dorm.”

“Alright”

They left the special events room, Sherlock grabbed his long black wool coat and blue scarf and then they trekked across campus to Sherlock’s dorm.

“You mentioned that you’re a chemistry major right? Do you know my mate, Mike Stamford?”

“Ah yes. I know Mike. We’ve been in a few classes together and he seems friendly enough.”

“We should all get together sometime and hang out.”

“Maybe. Depends on what we do.”

“We’ll work something out I’m sure.”

When they arrived at his dorm, Sherlock said “Thank you for walking me back. I enjoy having company when I go out from time to time.”

“Anytime. And feel free to text me if you need a walking companion. I can give you my numb—

“I’ve already got your number and you have mine too.”

John looked at Sherlock with his head cocked to the side in confusion “What are you talking about. No I don-

“You were the mystery text. I should’ve known by the initials.”

“Yes. But now that we’ve established that, I will once again bid you a goodnight.”

“Good night, Sherlock. I’ll see you around.”

Sherlock nodded and headed up the stairs to his room and John stood at the bottom of the stairs for a moment before heading back to his own, snow falling gently around him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April is nearing its end and John is finally going to tell her. He is finally going to tell Mary that he likes her and he’s scared shitless.

They met in the dining hall as usual and grabbed a two person table. Once they were seated, comfortable and had started their dinners, John started talking.

“Mary, I have something to tell you” he said, his heart pounding loud in his ears and hands sweating.

“What is it John?”

Well here goes nothing, he thought “I just wanted to let you know that I really like you and I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date sometime.” He let out a large gust of air that he didn’t know he was holding and waited anxiously for her reply.

“Look John, I like you too but just as friends. I’m really not looking for anything right now especially since I’ll be going abroad next term. I’m sorry.”

“Oh. That’s fine. It’s all fine.” He replied looking dejected and just so he could make things less awkward, he quickly changed the subject.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next few days, John analyzed everything that had happened. He was hurt by the rejection but still put on a happy face regardless.

Later that day, he was walking from the dining hall to the science building, when he heard ran into Mike.

“How’s it going John?”

“Alright. You?”

“Alright, but hey, I have some news and it’s not something you’re going to want to hear but you need to hear it from someone.”

“What is it?”

“Long story short, I was sitting in the dining hall the other day, alone and Mary came up to me and we got talking and she mentioned something about you.”

John didn’t like where this was going but nodded his head for Mike to continue.

“She said that you had parted on good terms but that she saw it coming a mile away and is “glad it’s over with”.”

John’s heart sunk at those words. Mary had known about his feelings all those months and had just strung him out. Mike wasn’t finished however and continued.

“Then she mentioned how she’s going abroad next term and said that she’s excited because all the foreign boys would be all over her. Well after that I changed the subject because I didn’t want to hear about it anymore. I can’t help but wonder if she mentioned all of this to me because she forgot we’re mates or if she deliberately did it to hurt you. Either way looks like you dodged a bullet with that one!”

John nodded, numb, thanked Mike for letting him know all of that and then changed directions to go to his room instead of the science building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of term went by uneventfully, but John found himself branching out more and hanging out with people, including Sherlock who he’d found out he liked being around a lot.

John had just left the history building and started heading towards his dorm when he saw Sherlock standing by the giant oak tree near the science building, legs crossed and looking at him with a smile. John couldn’t help but think if he was waiting for him but he grinned and walked over.

“Hello, John. How was your medieval history class today?”

“It was excellent! Since it’s nearing the end of term, we’re talking about the Black Death, and that’s one of my favorite topics. I’m actually hoping to write my final term paper on it, being interested in medicine as well as history, I think it could be a great topic for me. How was your day?”

John looked up at Sherlock and noticed he was starting at him with a fond smile on his face, “It was good, John, I finished my term paper for my ancient philosophy class where I focused on the Symposium and then I finished up grading the papers of Professor Hudson’s upper level Latin students, the writing was passable but they really need some work, and I needed to get out of my room and go for a walk so now I’m here. Would you care to join me?”  
“Gladly. I just want to head back to my room to drop my things off before we go, you’re welcome to come with me if you’d like.”

“Sure.”

So they headed off to John’s room and after he dropped his things off, they went on their walk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John did end up writing his term paper on the Black Death and was on his way to turn it in to his professor’s post box when he got a text.

_I leave for summer today. My brother will be here around 4 if you want to say goodbye. -SH_

John looked at his watch and noticed that it was nearing 3:30 and sent a quick reply.

_I’ll be there as soon as I turn in my term paper for history._

_How long will that be? – SH_

John chuckled at the impatient tone of the text and replied _Soon. I’m on my way to the history post boxes now._

_Oh good, not long then. – SH_

John shook his head and typed _No. Now I’ll see you in a bit._ And then pocketed his mobile as he ascended the winding staircases to the topmost floor of the building, found his professor’s post box and then began his trek across the grounds to find Sherlock.

He found him sitting at a picnic table all, his suitcase sitting on the ground to his right. “Sherlock”

“John! You made it.”

“That I did. I would never just leave without saying goodbye to you. I’m not going to see you for 9 months, you idiot.”

“I’m well aware of the amount of time you’ll be gone. I am going to be your contact here if anything were to go wrong though, so I’m sure we’ll be in touch.”

“Of course we’ll be in touch, you twat! Now come on, give me a hug before you leave. I don’t want us to leave upset.”

Sherlock silently agreed and went over to John and wrapped his arms around him, bending down a bit so he could put his head on Joh’s shoulder and try not to cry.

“I’ll miss you Sherlock. I promise to skype and there’s always email.”

“I know, doesn’t make it any easier though.”

“I know.”

Just then a sleek black car pulled up and what was John assumed Sherlock’s brother Mycroft got out. Sherlock pulled away from John as Mycroft walked up to them.

“You must be John.”

“Yes sir. John Watson” he said as he straitened his back and held out his hand.

Mycroft shook it and said “Safe travels abroad and have a good summer.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Sherlock just glared at him until Mycroft turned to him and said “Are you ready to go brother mine?”

“Not particularly, no, but what choice do I have?”

“None. I’ll get the rest of your things.”

Mycroft lifted Sherlock’s suitcase off the ground and walked back to the car and Sherlock and John said one last goodbye.  
“I’ll see you in 9 months.”

“See you in 9 months.”

“Safe travels, John.”

“Have a good term without me, stay out of trouble and in touch.”

Sherlock just smiled and walked up to the car, got in and John waved as they drove off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we leave that particular time in John’s life, we see his snowflake floating around caught in a breeze carrying it toward a tree to rest in for the time being.


	2. Sherlock and Molly

Not far from the tree where John’s snowflake was resting another snowflake was falling. This snowflake was just as beautiful as John’s. It also had six points and fernlike dendrites but once you reached its center, an intricate floral pattern that started with twelve points on the middle ring joined together with another six points creates another pattern of diamonds between them and at the very center of the complex snowflake are three hexagon shapes within each other and three pointed clovers between the first two finally ending in a hexagon shaped star.  
As the light shines on this particular flake, we zone in on a scene to behold…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sherlock is absolutely and horrendously bored. Sitting in the second row of his Rise of Enlightened Thinkers class, Sherlock couldn’t help but cast his eyes at the clock every 5 minutes or let his thoughts wander to how John Watson was doing on his study abroad in Italy. He missed him terribly and counted down the days to John’s return. In total there were 263 days without him and now at the beginning of September he had 157 to go.  
At the end of last semester of his second year, John had come into his life like a whirlwind and gotten him to open up in a way he never knew he could. He had always found himself reserved both socially and emotionally so the fact that John had come in and wanted to get to know him really threw him for a loop.

Sherlock was jolted from his daydreaming and reminiscing when the professor raised his monotone voice and stated the class was over as he wrote their assignment on the board. More Kant…great he thought as he hurriedly wrote it in his notebook despite being able to recall it perfectly in his mind. This was his one and only class for the day so he took his time packing up.

As he left class, a girl with long wavy brown hair came up to him and asked “You’re Sherlock, right?”

Sherlock glanced to his right where she was walking and thought as to if he knew who she was before crinkling his forehead and replying “Yes. And who are you exactly? What do you want?”

“Oh!” she gasped “I’m Molly. Molly Hooper and it’s alright that you don’t remember me as that lecture room was really quite large, but we were in medieval and Renaissance Philosophy together last year.”

He stared blankly at her for a moment, “Ok. And what do you want?”

Molly stumbled a bit and looked at him with her brown doe eyes “Well I just thought that since we’re in this frankly awful class together that maybe from time to time we could discuss the readings or read each other’s papers or something.”

Sherlock thought about how truly awful this class was and flashed back to a conversation he and John had in the spring where he suggested that Sherlock branch out and meet new people while he was gone. He stopped briefly and with a small smile replied “Yes. That would be fine.”

Molly beamed as she glanced at the time on her watch and her eyes bulged, “Oh good! I have to run to biology now, but I’ll see you in class! Bye, Sherlock!” Before Sherlock could reply, Molly was swiftly walking towards the science building.

Deciding to forego lunch, Sherlock continued walking towards his dorm, happy that he had made a new friend and knowing that John would be proud of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Molly briskly walked to the door of room 221 and sharply knocked, “Sherlock! Sherlock, I know you’re in there. Come on, open up!”

Grumbling and muttering could be heard on the other side of the door and not a minute later, it opened a fraction to allow her inside.

“Hello Molly. What do you want?” Sherlock said exasperated.

“It’s a Friday night, and you’re holed up inside this room doing god knows what, when I’ve found out that there’s going to a be a snow storm tomorrow! We have to do something this weekend.” Molly said with a grin on her face, her hands clasped together.

Sherlock’s eyes brightened up at the word snow and he replied “I love the snow, what did you have in mind? I’d prefer just a walk in the woods to gather samples to look at but I’m open to other options.”

Molly’s smile turned mischievous and Sherlock visibly turned even paler than he already was when Molly said “We’re going ice skating.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Oh yes you will! Come on Sherlock, it’ll be fun!”

“Can I have the option to sit on the side and watch you instead?” He knew what her answer would be before it left her mouth.

“No. It’ll be fine Sherlock and then afterwards we could bake cookies and make hot chocolate.”

“That later part sounds more fun that sliding around on potentially thin ice on razors.”

“Well we’ll each have something to look forward to then. The ice skating for me and the baking party for you.”

“A compromise. Really Molly?”

Molly bit her lip to conceal a smile and looked at him batting her eyelashes “Please Sherlock” He sighed and conceded that yes he would go ice skating tomorrow not knowing just what he’d gotten himself into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, Sherlock checked his email and saw that he had a message from John. With a grin on his face, he opened it and read what it said.

_Hello Sherlock!_  
_Just last week, I was in Venice on a school trip and got to be inside San Marco with just my classmates and professors by ourselves for two hours. It was absolutely incredible and I wish you were here to experience this with me. We also got to see some of Leonardo da Vinci’s original notebooks with all of his pictures in the margins and since I know how much you love him, I just had to tell you. If we were allowed to take photos I would’ve taken some for you but alas we were not. What was really incredible though is that one of my professors is a bit of a da Vinci scholar and has never seen his journals in person._  
_Now onto your last email. I’m so glad you made a friend! I think I remember having Molly in a few of my classes. She’s into science things right? Also, if you have time later tonight, I’d like to chat with you if you can. Let me know!_  
_Many hugs from Florence. I miss you._  
_Your friend,_  
_John_

Sherlock checked the time on the email and checked his watch and realized that he should log on to his Skype. Once logged on, he shot John a message that he was ready to talk and waiting for the melodic sound of a call coming through.

John’s smiling face appeared on the screen and even though it was extremely pixilated, he was happy to see his friend again.

“Hi John!”

“Hi Sherlock”

They talked for a little while about what he was taking in Florence; Love, Beauty and Eros in Renaissance Italy, Art and Architecture in Medieval Italy, Italian and Patrons and Artists. He enjoyed all of his classes except for the first as the teacher was dull and not that good at being a teacher. Sherlock filled him in on his classes; Ancient Rome with the Latin language component, violin lessons, his dull Rise of Enlightened Thinkers, a class on Judaism, Corpse and Corpus (a class about looking at medieval literature and talking about death and science) and finally a ballet class.

Then after that John said “It sounds like you’re having a really busy semester. Now tell me more about Molly.”

“I don’t know what you want to know. We’re in RET together and talk about the readings together so we don’t die from boredom and get dinner from time to time. She’s a really lovely person and tomorrow she’s dragging me ice skating and to have a baking party. Although, party isn’t how I’d put it since it’s just the two of us.”

John looked pensive and said “Sherlock, it sounds like she likes you.”

“Well of course she likes me, otherwise we wouldn’t be hanging out at all.”

“No. I mean she likes you in a romantic way. The ice skating and the dinners and the baking thing tomorrow just the two of you, those are all romantic things to do with someone. I mean you can do them as friends yes, but I know she has other friends and the fact that she wants to do these things alone with you, that tells me she’s interested in you.”

Sherlock was surprised “But she’s never said anything and I’m not interested in her that way. How do you suggest I go about telling her that? I really enjoy her company.”

John let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding and said “Just find a time, sooner the better, to gently tell her that you’re not interested in her that way and tell her how much you enjoy her company as a friend. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

Sherlock sighed “I hope you’re right.”

After that the two friends talked about what was planned for the rest of their semesters; John was going to Rome in a few weeks and Sherlock was looking forward to the short break they had coming up where he could take a break from his rigorous schedule, and then they said they would talk to each other soon and signed off.

Sherlock left the call feeling a bit melancholy. He missed John terribly and was a bit concerned about the Molly situation that he was facing but then he was glad he had them both as friends.

He prepared himself for bed and had a fitful night of sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Molly and Sherlock had gotten a quick brunch, they made their way down to the sports center on campus to pick up some skates before heading towards town and the frozen lake.

The snow was still falling steadily and before they went onto the ice with skates, Sherlock walked out on the ice to see if it was thick enough to skate on. All was ok, even after he proceeded to jump on it to make sure.

As they laced up their skates, Molly kept glancing over at Sherlock “What is it Molly?”

Visibly startled that she was caught she stammered “Wh-what?”

“You’ve been glancing at my frequently the last few minutes and I was wondering what was wrong.”

“Oh. Well, it’s just that you said you don’t like skating, so I was wondering if you needed help with your laces.”

He internally grimaced at that and replied “Just because I don’t like skating, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to do it, but thanks for the offer.”

He stood up and extended his hand to her and she grasped his hand while she ungracefully stood up. She kept his hand in hers for longer than was necessary but realizing that quickly let his hand go turning a shade of red that was not from the cold as she embarked out on the ice. After a moment, Sherlock followed.

Once on the ice Molly started to move forward and immediately fell “I haven’t been skating in years, so I’ll probably take a minute or two to get back into it.”

Sherlock smiled and glided over to her with ease, helping her up “It’s alright Molly. I’m sure you’ll be back at it in no time.”

It was just then that she realized that Sherlock was having no trouble at all “Wait, Sherlock. You’re having no trouble at all!”

“No, I’m not” he sheepishly replied.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Well I did a bit of figure skating when I was younger along with ballet until before university and since skating is dance on ice, I still have the skills ingrained in my body that it’s almost a second nature to me, even though it’s been a few years.”

“Why on earth did you tell me you didn’t like skating!”

“Because it’s not my favorite so therefore it’s not something I truly like. I mean it’s fine from time to time but dance is where I really shine.”

“You are definitely showing me some cool jumps and spins Mr. Holmes!”

“That’s a fair compromise, I suppose.”

Molly rolled her eyes fondly and watched Sherlock skate away into a spinning jump and landed with a smile, glancing over at Molly to see her awed expression before chasing after him (she clearly got her ice legs back).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After they had returned their skates to the sports center and changed into clothes that were dry, they met in a designated kitchen to begin their baking activities.

Molly said they were making cookies but based on the picture she’d attached to the recipe, it looked more like a brownie cookie. Looking at the ingredients, Sherlock went over to the cabinet to see what was provided, while Molly had run back to her room to grab the rest.

Glancing at the recipe to see what they needed, Sherlock went over to the cabinet first and found the sugar, flour, baking powder, and salt. And then he went to the fridge, and found the butter and eggs. When Molly returned, her arms were overflowing with ingredients.

“Ok. So I’ve got all the chocolate; the chips and the blocks and I made sure I had the correct amount, I’ve also got the espresso powder and the peanut butter chips as well as the pecans and walnuts and the vanilla. Did you manage to find the rest in the cabinets and fridge?”

“Yes, Molly. I found the rest of the ingredients and have them all measured according to the instructions.” He paused “Molly, this seems like a bit of a difficult recipe, have you made it before?”

She replied indignantly “Of course I have! And while you are correct that it is a lot of work, it’s definitely worth the result.”

Sherlock was still skeptical but nodded despite his reservations. “Alright then, what are we going to do about pots and pans? There seem to be a lack of them despite the fact that we’re in a kitchen.”

“Well, we could always go to the desk and see what they have. I don’t have any of my own here otherwise I would suggest that.”

“I’ll go and see what they have.”

Sherlock left the room and sighed, he honestly didn’t think the desk was going to have many things they were going to need which meant they were going to have to improvise.

He arrived at the desk “Hi, do you have any cooking ware I could use?”

The girl at the front desk sighed, got the key to the closet and motioned for him to follow her. She opened the closet and looking inside he saw two large pots, some plastic bowls, measuring cups, a pan or two and a mix-master along with some other random odds and ends. He grabbed the pot, a few bowls and the mix-master and went back to the kitchen.

“Oh good you’re back.”

“Unfortunately there wasn’t much, so we’re going to have to improvise.”

“We’ll make it work.”

Sherlock very much doubted that but said “I’ll get started on the chocolate then, shall I?”

So Sherlock melted the butter and carefully melted the chocolate with it over a pot of boiling water. In the meantime, Molly took care of beating the eggs, vanilla and espresso powder and sugar together. When it came time for the combination of the two as well as the folding in of the flour, baking powder and salt, Sherlock took care of that while Molly combined the chocolate chips, peanut butter chips and nuts with the remaining flower before Sherlock folded that into the mixture. Finally, it was time to put them on the sheets and bake them.

While they were waiting, Molly turned to Sherlock “I had a really good time today Sherlock.”

After his conversation with John the other night he had a feeling he knew where this was going “I did too Molly.”

She averted her eyes and pursed her lips and Sherlock thought she looked like she was thinking hard about something “I’d like to do this again sometime.”

“Yes, that would be agreeable. I enjoy your company.”

“And I enjoy yours.”

At that point the oven timer went off and Sherlock while grabbing a towel, went to check on the cookies.

While they waited for them to cool, there was a bit of an awkward silence between the two friends. Just before Molly was going to speak, one of her friends, Sherlock believed her name was Irene, came into the kitchen.

“Something smells absolutely delicious in here!”

“Oh hi Irene. Sherlock and I just made some cookies, we’re waiting for them to cool if you’d like to stay and have one.”

Irene looked from Molly to Sherlock and back and smiled slyly “I’ll stay until they’re cool, but then I’ll take a cookie and head out.”

Molly gave her a pleading look and replied “Alright, if you say so.”

Irene looked at Sherlock at that point “You’re Sherlock, aren’t you?”

“Yes, and you’re Irene right? I think we’ve been in a few classes together.”

“That’s right. How’s John doing? He’s abroad this term right?”

Sherlock smiled brightly and he replied “He’s doing well. I just spoke to him the other day.”

“That’s good to hear. Now, remind me, do you have a girlfriend?”

Sherlock taken aback tried to get out of answering, but ultimately said, “No, not really my area.”

Irene smirked “And what about a boyfriend then?”

Sherlock swallowed, sighed and glanced briefly at Molly before replying “Not currently, no.”

In order to get Sherlock out of that awkward conversation and to save herself anymore embarrassment Molly quietly said “I think the cookies are ready now.” And went over to the rack to get one for each of them. After they all had napkins and a cookie, Irene said goodbye and left them alone.

“Sherlock, why didn’t you tell me that you were gay?” Molly blurted out.

“Because I didn’t know you felt that way about me until someone mentioned it to me the other day. And after that, I didn’t know how to act or what to do because I’m absolutely awful with things like this. Let me say this though, what I said before about enjoying your company and wanting to do something like this again, I meant it. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings because that was not my intention.”

Molly swallowed and could see that she was trying hard to fight back tears “I really enjoy your company as well and I’m sorry if I’ve made this uncomfortable.”

“I assure you that you did not.” He walked up to her and gave her a hug asking “So shall we eat our cookies and then call it a day?”

Molly chuckled and replied “Yes, I’d like that.” And she hugged him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cookie recipe actually exists and if you're at all interested in them look up Chocolate Peanut Butter Globs and you should find them. They're absolutely magical! 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at: divine529 . tumblr . com


	3. John: Realizations (Florence, Italy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes to Florence and Rome and has some realizations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The text in italics is John's journal entries.

In the parts of the world that don’t have snow, their lives are told through raindrops. If a person moves or lives in a place without snow for an extended period of time, they have to learn to adapt. That process is not easy. Today it’s sleeting and the crisp and clear shape of the snowflakes we are accustomed to are a frozen, wet and abstract mess. As we zoom in on the red city encased in grey, we truly begin to understand this drastic weather change.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John left his flat in a hurry; journal in hand, wallet in pocket, he stormed past the gelaterias and restaurants. He wandered among the cobblestone streets and by the medieval buildings of Florence and upon reaching the Duomo paused, closed his eyes briefly and took a breath of air, inhaling the tantalizing scents of the eateries around him and upon opening his eyes took the path towards Santa Maria Novella and towards the bridge that led him across the Arno.

As he neared the river, he couldn’t help but stop to take in the scenery of the grey light shining on the water and revealing the mountains in the back along with the foliage; every single time he had to cross that river, the view struck him and he wished he could share it with the friends he left back home. He wished he could share it with one person in particular; Sherlock. John hadn’t seen Sherlock since the previous May and it was now early December. Only a month and half until he got to see his friends again. And while John had kept in touch with his friends, it was hard for him to not miss them and want to be part of their lives all the time. As people often say after having been abroad “you will never be completely at home again, because your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place”. John’s life embodies that quote because, while he loves being and experiencing Florence, he misses his friends back home, but he knows that once he’s gone from Florence, he’ll want to be back here.

After he crossed the bridge, he continued on to his original destination; The Pitti Palace and ultimately his favorite place; the Boboli Gardens. Being a student, he got free access to any museum or historical site and so he got his free ticket and cut all the lines and went in. Once through the palace entrance, he continued through the courtyard to a small door on the right that led into “his” garden.

Normally, John would take his time and meander paths and explore but, today, he made straight for the pond at the very top of the stairs and sat on the bench setting his journal down on his left and took a deep breath. As he took in the grey sky and watched the rain hit the water making it ripple, he trapped himself in his mind and thought. John sat forward putting his head in his hands and let out a sigh. Then glancing up, towards the fountain, he saw two ducks gliding gracefully across the water.

He picked up his notebook, untied the leather straps and flipped to a blank page and began to write:

_Today has been such an emotionally draining day and it all (of fucking course) leads back to Sherlock. We had our weekly talk earlier today, and everything seemed to be fine but then of course he had to tell me that he has a date tomorrow. I actually learned something about him today, he’s gay. Why he didn’t tell me before is beyond me, but anyway, his date’s name is Victor and they met through Irene. For some reason that bothers me. I don’t know why it would, but it’s causing me great turmoil. I should be happy for him! I mean he’s my best friend, but I find that instead I’m tormented by it. We won’t be able to talk next week since I’ll be in Rome for school (I’m so excited to go!) so maybe the time apart will help me sort everything out. Also 2 weeks until the Einaudi concert and the end of classes! It’s crazy how much time has flown while I’ve been here, but also how slowly it’s gone._

_Until next time,_

_John_

He put his pen down and closed his journal making sure to tie the leather strands together and he realized he felt a little bit better. Being in this beautiful country and sitting surrounded by greenery and gorgeous sculptures definitely helped, but putting his thoughts on paper helped his brain calm down, at least a little. He sat there for a few more minutes taking in the beauty of the ever changing garden and then he gathered up his things and walked home feeling a bit lighter than he did before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On his last day in Rome, John is heading to the Trevi Fountain with one of his roommates. They finished their packed itinerary yesterday and have the morning to themselves before they have to head back to Florence. The entire trip to Rome was incredible. They of course went to all of the typical places like the Roman Forum, Capitoline Hill, the Colosseum and the Vatican, but they also got to go to other places like the Villa Farnese on the other side of the river, and the Borghese Gallery.

John loved every second of the trip because not only did he get to soak up all the history that he had read so much about but he got to see all the incredible art; whether it was mosaics or paintings, sculptures or tapestries, each one was different and you could see the mastery that each artist put into each brush stroke or each stitch. This whole experience abroad gave John a whole new thing to love; art.

And aside from the art, the “Metamorphoses” motifs all over the city made him so happy. And of course that brought Sherlock to the forefront of his mind, again. Back home in England, both John and Sherlock had not only studied Ovid in their Latin classes but their history classes as well and now getting to see so much of the artwork surrounding each tragically beautiful tale, he was awestruck. His absolute favorite piece that he’d seen was the “Daphne and Apollo” statue in the Borghese Gallery. It was sculpted by the incredible Bernini and the ability to create something of that beauty from marble is absolutely amazing. It portrays the scene of Daphne running away from the god Apollo who wants her for his own in every way and at the last second before he manages to grab her, she’s turned into a tree. The sculpture captures her transformation from woman to tree and the leaves are paper thin. When John saw that sculpture, he shivered and shed a tear.

Now that John got a glimpse of the Trevi Fountain, he wanted to study it as a student of art. However, the crowd surrounding it had other ideas. So, he just pushed his way up to the fountain’s edge carefully surveying his surroundings and took out a few coins.

Before he threw them in though, he carefully thought about what he wanted to wish for. Ultimately he decided on three things:

One: it’s obligatory to wish that you return to Rome one day and so of course he wished for that

Next he thought of Sherlock and decided he deserved one of his wishes.

Two: I wish Sherlock to be happy always, no matter what happens between us

And the last he made for himself.

Three: I wish that I find someone who loves me for me

Satisfied with his wishes he turned around and studied the faces of the statues carved to create the gorgeous fountain and waited for his roommate to finish his turn and once done, they headed back to the hotel to get ready for their return journey.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John had just finished a day of shopping and last minute packing and he was eating dinner before he went to the Einaudi concert. He returned back to England tomorrow and this was the best gift to himself as a las hurrah.

He finished eating his homemade lasagna with a side of focaccia before grabbing his large golden ticket, his wallet and keys, finally heading out the door to the theater.

He passed the blue Christmas tree and the Nativity scene near the Duomo and continued walking the cobbled streets past Santa Maria Novella and down the narrow street straight ahead that led to the river. While he normally crosses the river, this time he turned before the bridge and walked along the water until he came to the brightly lit “Teatro Communale”. He checked his watch and saw that he had plenty of time before the concert started at 21:00, but he went in regardless, too excited to wait.

When he entered the lobby he saw that there was no ticket taker and entered the theater and looked at his ticket despite the fact that he had every single fact on it memorized to see what his seat number was. Upon glancing back down at the ticket and seeing that his seat was in fact A 16 walked straight down the red carpet leading to the front and center and found his seat almost immediately.

Seeing that he still had a half hour before the concert started he decided to get a good look at the theater. Everything from the seats to the carpet were all red, which of course is the color of Florence. There were three floors of seats and the stage which was made of a light wood, spanned the whole width of the theater which had a piano at the far left (at least if you were facing the stage). Einaudi’s “In a Time Lapse” was playing on the speaker above on repeat as that was the album that was just released and would be the main focus of the concert.

Slowly, people started to trickle into the theater and soon enough the lights were dimming and the concert starting.

Einaudi came out and his entire string orchestra as well as percussionists and they began to play.

John couldn’t help but be taken in with every song despite the fact he knew almost every one. He was hearing them as new, since he was first seeing them live now.

After Einaudi played every song from his new album, he had a brief break and played solo. He played all of John’s favorite pieces from “Fly” to “Divenire”.

And when another one of John’s favorites started he realized something. As the opening notes to “i giorni” played it was like he was hit by a bolt of lightning. One of the reasons he loved Einaudi so much was because Sherlock introduced him. Sherlock had played this piece for him once on his violin and it was absolutely gorgeous, but hearing the piano version of this piece brought new meaning to John and he realized that all the feelings he’d been having for Sherlock these past weeks were feelings of great affection. This piece of music was about many things but one of them was resolution. And his conflicting feelings had been resolved. Always enjoying being with Sherlock and feeling weird about him going on a date; he was fucking in love with Sherlock Holmes and he was terrified. That song had new meaning for him and he would never be able to listen to it again without thinking of Sherlock. And as the song came to an end as well as the concert, he couldn’t stop thinking about his feelings and left the theater.

Once he got to his apartment, he barged into his room and grabbed his journal and a pen and quickly wrote:

_I think I might be bisexual? I don’t quite know what’s happening right now only that I’m in love with Sherlock Holmes. Oh god. Putting that down on paper makes it all the more real and I’m terrified. But now there’s also the fact that he’s got himself a boyfriend and dear god I want him to be happy more than anything._

_But the worst part of it all is that when I go back to England tomorrow, I’m going to have to face him after 9 fucking months and seeing his gorgeous cherubic face and his curly hair and his godforsaken hands and that bloody smile! I’m a goner._

_I guess all I can do is the best I can. I will not ruin his happiness._

And the next morning when he was on the plane home, he cried; for himself and for what their friendship would become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ludovico Einaudi is an incredible musician and if you have a chance I highly recommend listening to his work. I could also make a playlist and put it on 8tracks if people are interested.
> 
> This will probably be the last chapter for awhile since I'm starting summer classes for law school. 
> 
> I'm also on tumblr: divine529


	4. Sherlock and Victor

Being without John was insufferable. Sherlock couldn’t stand it. He missed their long chats and their walks and going to events together. He was abroad and Sherlock was back at school stuck in the tedium of classes while John was off on an adventure. Yes, they were both going to be in Greece after Christmas, but then again, he still had to live without his company for four and a half months.  
As he walked to his ballet class, leaves of all colors were falling around him blowing his raven colored curls and making his coat float around him. Once he reached his building, he entered and Irene immediately bounded up and started talking about her weekend, or at least that’s what Sherlock presumed since he wasn’t listening. He felt a slap to his arm and he looked over at her in shock where Irene was glaring at him. 

“You weren’t listening to a word I was saying were you.” 

Sherlock sheepishly replied, “No. My mind is elsewhere today.”

Irene’s features softened, “You’re really missing John aren’t you.” 

Sherlock just nodded his head and they entered the classroom putting their bags against the wall before heading over to stretch before class began.

Irene and Sherlock were still chatting away, when a new boy came up and started his stretches near Sherlock. Irene took one look at the new guy and knew what he was trying to do, smirked and started up a conversation. 

“Why hello there. I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m Irene.” 

The new boy smirked in reply, stuck out his hand and replied, “Victor Trevor, I’m new to the program this year. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And who’s this?” he asked gesturing to Sherlock.  
Before he could reply, Irene said, “That’s Sherlock.” 

All of a sudden, Victor’s eyes glazed over, he smiled and said, “Hello Sherlock, it’s nice to meet you.” 

Shortly after the introductions class began. Being third years, they needed to start preparing for their solo recitals and so much of the class was dedicated to the professor explaining what each person’s piece needed to include. 

Once class ended, Sherlock said goodbye to Irene and bolted from the room. 

“Sorry about him.” She said, “he’s always in a hurry” 

Victor looked at the studio’s door closing and absentmindedly replied “That’s ok. I’m sure I’ll see him around again.” 

“Probably” Irene replied, glancing at the door as Sherlock’s coat floated in the distance.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After several weeks of casually bumping into each other, and casual chatting in the halls, Sherlock and Victor started becoming friends. It took for some awkward talks with Irene in the halls to reassure Sherlock that this was a good thing. That John would be glad he’d made a new friend. 

One day, however, Sherlock found himself sitting at the local café just having a nice cup of tea and some biscuits, when all of a sudden Victor walks in. Sherlock is of course sitting in plain sight and Victor smiles and walks over. 

“Hi Sherlock. How are you today?” 

“I’m alright. How are you?” 

“I’m doing just fine. Hang on my order’s finished, I’ll be right back” As he walks away, Sherlock can’t help but think about how terrible this is going to be. Yes him and Victor have started talking more, but actually sitting, having warm drinks on a fall day in the local café? That seems a bit different. 

Before Sherlock can talk himself even more into a hole, Victor comes back over with a large steaming mug and a sandwich. Placing the mug and the plate down on the table, he sat down with a contented sigh. 

“So Sherlock, how are all of your other classes coming along?” 

“They’re fine. I’m really enjoying all of them this semester. How about you? What are you taking?” 

“I’m taking ballet, of course, astronomy, organ lessons, calculus and German” 

“Interesting. That’s quite the spread.” 

“Yeah, I know. My main course of study is math of course, but since my aunt is a dance professor here, I’ve been required to take that by my family, organ I’ve loved since I was a child, astronomy is fascinating, I love the wonders of space and all that it can tell us about not only our world, but how it explains everything. I did get to meet Stephen Hawking once, after a lecture he gave.” 

“Wow. That’s absolutely incredible” 

“Yeah. But what about you?” 

“I’m taking ballet, obviously, Ovid my advanced Latin course of the semester, analytical chemistry, violin, and an archaeology course which is mostly for fun, but also in preparation for my study abroad this January.” 

“Oh that’s excellent! Where are you going in January?” 

“Greece.” 

“Beautiful place. Is the course for language, history or archeology?” 

“A little bit of it all, I think. Mostly the history portion though, with a bit of art.” 

“Lovely. Tell me about your violin lessons. Have you always loved it?” 

“I do love playing the violin, it helps me think. I like you, have played since I was very young”

“Excellent. Any particular artists you enjoy?” 

“I’m more of a classical person, but every once in awhile I enjoy covering other instrumental artists I like.” 

“Like who?” 

“Have you ever heard of Two Steps from Hell?” 

“You’re kidding me?! I LOVE Two Steps from Hell! What’s your favorite piece?”

“There are so many to choose from. But probably Archangel” 

“I enjoy that one too. But my favorite is probably Love and Loss”

“A nice choice” 

Sherlock nodded and found himself smiling more. He hadn’t connected with someone like this since John. By the end of the night, he had Victor’s phone number and a link to his youtube channel and a promise for more hangouts. He walked back to his apartment with a small smile on his face.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A few weeks later, Sherlock and Victor ran into each other again but this time decided to grab dinner. They spent several hours together at the little bistro down the road from school talking and laughing and eventually Victor invited Sherlock to go to a practice room in the music building. 

“Come on Sherlock, I really want to play you the new piece I’ve been working on” 

Sherlock couldn’t help but smile, “Alright, let me just grab my violin so you can hear me as well.” 

They left the restaurant and walked in the crisp fall evening to the music building in comfortable silence. 

Once Sherlock had gotten his violin from his music locker, they meandered around looking for an open practice room in the section of the building where the organs are. Finally they found one; the room was covered in wooden panels (including the floor), a bench and a music stand in the corner. 

Victor walked over to the bench, sat down and started playing. At first, Sherlock was too enthralled with how beautifully Victor played but then he really listened to the music and realized it was Archangel by Two Steps from Hell. 

Once Victor stopped playing he turned to Sherlock with a hopeful look, “What did you think?” 

“I thought it was beautiful. Did you learn to play that after I asked you to learn it?” 

Victor nodded sheepishly and blushed slightly and Sherlock melted a little inside. 

“Well that was one of the nicest things someone has ever done for me. Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” He nodded over to the violin in the corner “how about I hear something of yours?” 

Sherlock nodded and grabbed his violin from the corner, tuned it, thought for a second and began to play. Victor recognized it right away; it was Blackheart – another Two Steps from Hell piece. 

Sherlock finished the piece and turned to Victor and raised his eyebrows.

“Brilliant, Sherlock. We should definitely collaborate sometime, that would be so much fun” 

Sherlock just smiled and nodded. 

The night carried on in much of the same manner and once it was over, there were promises of more.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Come November, many concerts came up and being music students, there are so many concerts you are required to go to. Not surprisingly, Sherlock hadn’t gone to any. When Victor learned of this, he dragged him along whenever he went, which was often. The first concert they went to was the school philharmonia. Sherlock thoroughly enjoyed that one and looked forward to going to more. The next one was one of the madrigal choirs; neither Sherlock nor Victor loved that one, but they kind of suspected going in. Third was Baroque night which Sherlock knew John would’ve loved had he been there and finally, the Orchestra home concert. They had just gotten back from tour. 

Sherlock adored the orchestra here. He would never want to be in it himself because sometimes listening is better. Letting the music surround you and wrap you up in its tendrils. Sherlock’s favorite piece of the night was called Turtledove. The strings section was superb in that piece and Sherlock, though he would never admit it, shed a tear.

Once the concert ended and they went up and told some of the musicians how incredible their playing was, they headed out. 

Glancing out the window on their way out, Sherlock saw that it was snowing and once they got outside, they realized just how much had fallen in a short period of time.

On their way back to the dorms, Victor grabbed Sherlock’s hand and they ran towards the arches dividing the school from the park. Victor led Sherlock to a bench and they sat down to catch their breath, letting the snow swirl around them gracefully. 

“Sherlock, I have to ask you something.” 

Sherlock sat there quietly and waited. 

“Do you remember, earlier at dinner when I mentioned that I liked someone, romantically I mean?” 

Sherlock nodded. 

“Well, I might be starting to have feelings for you. I don’t know what it is about you but I really like you Sherlock. When you asked earlier why it was that I stay, it about killed me inside. You’re a really special person and you’re slowly becoming someone I cherish.” 

During all of this Sherlock couldn’t help but shed tears, no one had ever said anything like that to him. 

“Sherlock, why are you crying?” 

“Because I kind of feel that way too and, no one and I mean no one has ever said something like that to me. I’ve never had something like this.” 

Victor gently slide over on the bench and put his arms around Sherlock. 

“I mean every word you know. You really are something special.” With that he kissed his head and Sherlock froze. 

“Sherlock, you ok?” 

Too emotional to speak, Sherlock just shook his head yes. 

“Have you ever been kissed?” 

Clearing his throat he replied “No.” 

Victor nodded and they sat in companionable silence for awhile. 

At one point, when Sherlock was more composed again said “Victor, I don’t want you to go.” 

“I don’t want to go either Sherlock. Sadly I’m afraid I must soon because I have class early tomorrow.” 

Sherlock knows he’s right and so he leans back against the bench allowing Victor to get up. They walk back to Sherlock’s dorm hand in hand and hug once they get to his door with promises of more tomorrow.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
As December rolls around and with it finals and Christmas break, Sherlock is ecstatic with his new “relationship” with Victor. Not much has changed, they still go to dinner regularly, they still go to practice rooms and play pieces for each other. The only thing that’s new is that they hold hands and on occasion cuddle. 

Sherlock just got out of a particularly dull analytical chemistry lab and decides he wants to see Victor. He makes his way to Victor’s dorm and once he arrives at Victor’s door, knocks and waits. 

He hears the door click and then an unfamiliar face pop it’s head out in an obvious state of undress. In the background he hears Victor’s voice say “Who is it Jim?” and then he hears the rustle of the sheets. “I don’t know, some curly haired guy.” 

“Shit!” 

Sherlock doesn’t need to hear anymore before he runs out of the building, tears streaming down his face as he pulls out his phone and frantically searches his contacts for the one he wants. 

“Sherlock? Is everything ok? You never call.” 

He sniffles and says “No Molly. I’m not ok. Can I come over? I’ll explain it all when I get there.” 

“Yes. Absolutely. I’ll leave the door cracked for you.” 

“Thanks Molly. I owe you so much.” 

Once he hung up the phone, he nearly sprinted over to Molly’s building and went up to her room.

Molly took one look at him and ran over and embraced him in the biggest hug. 

“What happened Sherlock?” 

“Victor cheated on me. After everything he said to me, he cheated with some guy named Jim” 

“Moriarty?”

“I don’t know. He had a bit of an Irish accent maybe. But I don’t care right now. God it hurts Molly. I didn’t know I could feel this way.” 

“Ssh it’ll be alright Sherlock. I’m here and pretty soon you’ll be in Greece reunited with John. That’s exciting right?” 

Sherlock didn’t respond but he was definitely looking forward to seeing John again so he nodded slightly. 

For now, he just needed to get through finals. He could do that.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
He could not do that. Every time he saw Victor now, he had Jim attached at his hip. They never acknowledged each other. It was so painful.  
Sherlock did however, get a lovely email from John the other day telling him how excited he was about seeing him in a few weeks. Sherlock will be glad to get away from England and onto Greece with his best friend. And that is what’s really helping him get through finals.  
He can do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's what happens to Sherlock when John isn't around...
> 
> This chapter was particularly difficult for me to write, not only because of everything I wanted to include but also because what Sherlock went through is something I've experienced as well and I just needed to write it and get it out there. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr: divine529


	5. As If Wakening from a Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out, life's been chaotic. 
> 
> This was my absolute favorite chapter to write out of all of them so far! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_We were in a forest, fairy lights strung around the trees and lightning bugs flittering in the air. We glanced around and saw a tent in the distance, lyrical laughter filling floating in the wind. Wandering in the direction of the music, we came across a large, white tent and knew we had arrived at our destination; my uncle Sherrinford’s wedding._

_Honestly, that was the last place I wanted to be, as I despised my family for the abuse and underappreciation they gave us over the years, and yet…we came._

_I was glad for the company of my boyfriend John, because despite his shortness, he lit up the whole room with his smile and confident presence. Not only that, he looked absolutely stunning in his flowy maroon suit that fell to his knees. As I threaded my arm through his, we glanced at each other and with a smile we entered the tent._

_Upon entry, we glanced around and the first thing we noticed was the lighting that gave everything a bluish tinge. After that the giant disco ball hanging from the center of the room adding white spots everywhere giving a nice contrast to the stark blue. Lined all around the tent were large banquet tables covered in white cloth. And in the center, was large dance floor._

_Once we were inside and situated we didn’t get a moment to ourselves before we were bombarded by my overbearing aunt._

_“Sherlock!” she sing-songed “Oh no” I grumbled under my breath, “here we go.”_

_“Sherlock, it’s so good to see you” she exclaimed, opening her arms wide and enshrining me in a suffocating hug; her perfume overpowering and grip too tight._

_“Hi Aunt Mildred” I replied courteously sparing a quick look over at John in a silent plea for help._

_“Isn’t this a lovely wedding? Your uncle and aunt look so happy”_

_“Yes. It’s lovely” I quietly replied, screaming for help inside. Any minute now, she would ask me about my relationship status, aka “when I would find a nice girl to settle down with,” like she did every year, and as always, I’d have to try not to scream at her in annoyance._

_“So,” she began. And I couldn’t help but think, ‘here we go again’, “what about you, Sherlock? Do I hear wedding bells for you in the near future?”_

_I raised my head to here in dramatic fashion, looked her straight in the eye and said, “Maybe, but even if there were, why would I tell you about it?”_

_She gaped at my response and smartly decided to drop it, instead turning the conversation to her ne’er do well son, Thomas; the bane of my existence._

_At some point during that pointless conversation, John received a phone call. He glanced down at the screen, brow furled, “Excuse me, but I have to take this. I’ll be right back” he said as he turned to head out of the tent, brushing the back of his hand against mine in reassurance as he left._

_I stood idly by pretending to listen to my aunt babble about her latest spoils, constantly glancing to the entrance of the tent. When John came back into the tent, his face was ashen. Without sparing a thought or a glance at my aunt, I rushed over to him and asked what was wrong and he shakily said “Harry was in a car crash in the mountains. She didn’t make it.”_

_My breath caught in my throat as I took him into my arms, “Oh John, I’m so sorry!” We stood standing there in a tight embrace for what felt like an eternity as I muttered sweet reassurances into his ear and felt him cling harder to me as he sobbed._

_Once we had both calmed down a bit, I led him to the drinks table to get some water, which he sipped tenderly._

_It was a heartbreaking scene to watch unfold, this confident, beautiful young man, visibly closing himself off from all feeling, putting on a brave face for my sake. I couldn’t bare it._

_“John, do you want to go? Seeing you like this is killing me inside. And I honestly wouldn’t mind,” I put my hand up next to my mouth and whispered, “anything to get away from my Aunt Mildred and her dramatics.”_

_John cracked a smile at that and huffed out a breath, “Maybe soon, but I’d at least like to have a dance with you first.” At my skeptical look he hastily added, “Come on Sherlock, we’re at a wedding, and besides, having you in my arms makes me feel better. Please?” Knowing I couldn’t deny that face, I closed my eyes briefly and let my shoulders drop in defeat and took his hand in mine, twining our fingers together. John just smiled in response._

_The next piece that started playing was one of John’s favorite songs and we fell into a hesitant waltz laughing at our awkwardness, but having a lovely time, regardless of the events from earlier in the evening and we continued twirling our way through the room, gaining a few spectators as we did so, but didn’t bother to care._

_As the song drew to a close, we continued to giddily laugh at our frankly horrible dancing, not noticing that my cousin Peter was haughtily watching on the sidelines. Annoyed by the fact that I failed to notice his presence, he decided to make himself known._

_“Oh well done Sherlock.” He sneered while sarcastically clapping and slowly sauntering over to where we were standing._

_The smile slid off my face, replaced by a stoic façade, my insides swirling in apprehension of what was to come next. “Hello Peter.” I internally cringed, as I berated myself for even acknowledging his existence._

_“Oh, come now Sherlock, let’s at least be cordial tonight, despite the fact that you’re a disgrace to the family and I honestly can’t believe you brought someone like that, to our dear uncle’s wedding!” He arrogantly replied, disdain evident in his tone and scrunched face._

_I took a deep breath, turned to face him fully and said, “It’s good to see you too, cousin.” Choosing to ignore his jab at John I pushed on, “And where is your esteemed date?”_

_I saw his face fall, however briefly, before responding with, “I’m afraid my dearest couldn’t make it tonight. Now, I’m assuming that yours had to cancel? No one would want to date you anyway.”_

_After that comment, I felt John go stiff in my arms. Briefly glancing at his face, I saw something I had never seen before; his jaw was set, my hands in a death grip and his bluish-grey eyes glaring daggers at him. Letting go of my arm, he stepped toward Peter, a murderous smile on his face “Hello. I don’t believe we’ve met, I’m John.”_

_Startled, he turned to me, “_

_By that point, John had enough. He slowly clenched his hands at his sides during his cutting insults and as he continued on his tirade, he didn’t hesitate to angrily punch him in the nose, “Don’t you dare speak to him that way. He’s more of a person than you’ll ever be.”_

_Keeping his steely resolve, he turned to me and grabbed my wrist saying “Sherlock, let’s go.”_

_I didn’t need to be told twice and promptly followed him out of the tent._

Sherlock woke with a start, heart racing and breathing fast.

With a fleeting glance at the clock, the glaring red letters reading 8:30 he rubbed his eyes in frustrated confusion while the dream still lingered vividly in his mind. As he hopped out of bed and dressed for the day, the dream still remained and he knew that he needed to talk to someone about what he was feeling. Obviously, he couldn’t talk to John since it bloody involved him, but it was Tuesday and around this time he knew that Molly would be in the commons working on homework, so Sherlock hurriedly got ready for the day and headed in that direction.

The cool April breeze tickled his face and he reveled in the warm sun, smiling as he walked through the canopy of trees leading him to the doors of the commons. While he ambled his way to the café and ordered his usual grilled cheese sandwich and chips, he surveyed the room and as soon as she found Molly, he walked to the table and sat down.

Molly glanced up at me and with a smile said “Good morning Sherlock, how’s it going?”

He chuckled and sarcastically replied, “Exhausted, but what else is new. How about you?” “Oh you know, busy with projects and papers; the usual college student life.”She nodded enthusiastically, eyebrows raised.

“Indeed…”Sherlock sighed, head dropping to his hand, his elbow resting on the hard-wooden table.

At that, Molly tilted her head, confusion written on her face.

“I know that look. Go ahead and ask”

She smirked and tilted her head, “So, what’s on your mind?”

Hesitantly he replied, “So…I like someone.” She gave me an encouraging look, “And this time, it’s a guy…which is a new thing…”

Molly looked thoughtful for a minute before gently asking, “Is it John?”

Sherlock's head snapped up, heart racing, “How did you know that! Is it that obvious?”

She shook her head, “No. I’ve just been wondering about that for a while.”

“What made you wonder though? I literally just realized it myself.”

She looked pensive for a moment, “Well…you guys are just really flirty with each other and I always see you hugging in the halls and things. If people didn’t know any better, they’d already think you were dating.”

Sherlock groaned and lightly banged his head against the table, “Molly, I’m not even entirely sure about what I’m feeling. Just that I’ve never felt like this about a guy before…or anyone really…”

She shrugged, “I say, just take it easy. Don’t force anything and see where it goes. I mean it is senior year after all.”

Sherlock felt like he’d been hit by a bus. “It’s second semester of senior year. There is no way I’m doing anything about this.”

“As I said before, just take it a day at a time, you never know what’ll happen”.

“Molly, I had a bloody dream about him punching my cousin in the nose!” he shouted.

Molly chuckled, “Yeah you’ve got it bad, love.”

Sherlock groaned again, laying on the table, covering his had with his arms. What on earth was he going to do now! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Later that day, after hardly thinking about anything else, Sherlock resorted to research online and including taking quiz after quiz titled “What is your sexuality” or something to that effect.

After agonizing over this for hours, he stumbled upon a website that discussed something he’d never heard of before; Romantic Spectrum. He read through that and did some extra research and came to the determination that he was homosexual demiromantic, at least for the current moment.

And he grabbed his mobile and shot off a text to Molly:

_I figured it out!_

She replied a minute later with:

_I’m so glad! What ended up being the result?_

_I’m something called: homosexual demiromantic, which means I want sexual relations with men and I can only fall in love with them romantically if I have an emotional bond with them._

_That makes so much sense based off what you were telling me earlier._

_Yeah. But now I don’t know what I should do. I feel like I can’t tell John since we graduate so soon…_

_You just make up your mind based off what you think is right and I’m sure you’ll know what to do._

_I guess…thanks Molly._

Sherlock put his mobile back on his desk and steepled his hands under his chin, once again in deep thought as he contemplated what to do about John; tell him or not, take the risk or keep it bottled up, stay friends or find out if there’s the potential for more. All he could do was think and hope he came to a decision before graduation rolled around in a few weeks…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like Sherlock's finally figuring his life out! 
> 
> This fic took quite a turn from what I was originally planning for it, but I'm ok with that as it turned into a bit of a cathartic adventure from all the craziness of my undergrad life. 
> 
> I hope to have this fic finished before the end of the year and as of now there will be one more chapter and then one side fic (*cough* wedding *cough*) so be on the lookout for that. 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr at: divine529.tumblr.com


	6. Sherlock and John

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some water nearby so you can help all the sugar go down. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The weeks continued to fly by and before he knew it, finals week was here. As Sherlock studied for his Latin final, he thought back to a conversation he had with Molly the other day. 

He finally decided that he is going to tell John how he feels, and he knows that if he tells someone else that he’ll actually go through with it. Sherlock just decided that instead of feeling like he’s going to die every time he’s in John’s presence that he’d just tell him, because if he doesn’t do it now, he knows he’ll never get the chance. He would rather know he tried than have the regret of never saying anything at all. 

So, here he is, studying for his only final and freaking out over the fact that this coming Wednesday, May 20, he is going to tell John H. Watson that he’s in love with him.   
______________________________________________________________________________  
John just finished his last final yesterday and was finally getting a night to relax before all the graduation events began. It was Tuesday evening and as he sat back in his chair, he couldn’t help but think about Sherlock. He’d been harboring his feelings for him for quite awhile and figured that tomorrow on their walk around campus, that he would finally tell him. 

He didn’t want to have that kind of a regret and as nervous as he was, it was something he had to do. 

So with that in mind, John got settled into his chair, put on a nice movie and drifted off to sleep.   
______________________________________________________________________________  
After lunch, on Wednesday, Sherlock and John met up outside the dining hall. John was dressed in Sherlock’s favorite jumper and slacks, his windswept hair waving gently as he walked toward Sherlock, who as always, was dressed in an oxford button down shirt, a sport coat and dress pants, but unlike normal, he did not have a tie today. Once they met up and exchanged pleasantries, John suggested that they head toward the arboretum to begin their walk. 

After a minute, John broke the silence with a slight cough, “How did your Latin exam go? Well I hope?”

Sherlock startled slightly and glanced over at John, “Yes. It was fine. How about your exams? Latin and immunology?” 

“They were alright. Immunology could’ve gone better and Ovid is a pain to translate properly.” 

Sherlock nodded, and they continued wandering among the wooded area until they came to an obscure vined bench that was near a small stream. Sherlock noticed that John was limping slightly due to a rugby injury he sustained several years prior and suggested they sit. 

Once they were sitting side by side, John brought up Greece, as he often did since he went there with Sherlock on a school trip. They reminisced about their favorite sites; John’s being on Crete and Sherlock’s being the monasteries at Meteora and finally they talked about their adventure in Athens involving mysterious rainbow stairs that no one else had seen and promptly burst out laughing. 

Once their laughter died down a bit, John saw his chance, “You know Sherlock, speaking of rainbows there’s something I want to talk to you about.” John got quiet for a minute, suddenly feeling his hands sweat as he angled his body towards Sherlock’s. 

Sherlock furrowed his brow slightly, “What is it, John?” 

John closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and plowed on it’s now or never John, come on, “So a little while ago, I realized I’m not exactly as straight as I thought. I’m bisexual.” Before Sherlock could interrupt him he plowed on, “And not just that, but I learned about something called the romantic spectrum and if you’re not familiar with it –” 

“I am” Sherlock interrupted quickly.

“Oh good, that saves me a bit of explanation, but anyway since you know what that means, I figure I should say something else because” John paused and looked at the woodchipped ground “I fancy someone.” 

Sherlock felt all the breath leave his body. John fancied someone, someone who probably wasn’t him and he couldn’t look at John anymore, couldn’t reveal his feelings anymore, “Oh. I see. Anyone I know?” 

“Actually, yes.” 

Sherlock still averted his gaze, “Oh?” 

“Sherlock. Look at me please.” 

He couldn’t refuse him and so he grudgingly looked back into John’s eyes and was surprised by the emotion he saw there, “You, Sherlock. I fancy you.” 

Sherlock couldn’t breathe. His eyes widened and he took in a shaky breath, “What?” 

“Yeah. I realized it when I was in Florence, but the feelings have probably been there longer than that and I just –” he hesitated, “it’s ok if you don’t feel the same way, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer.” 

John chanced a look at Sherlock through his eyelashes and Sherlock sat there still as a statue, “Sherlock?” No response, so John repeated his name before gently putting his hand on his lower arm trying to look into his eyes. 

“You fancy me.” Sherlock breathed in shock. “Yes, Sherlock, I do. Scared me a bit there.” 

Sherlock glanced over at John again, “John.” 

That one word, was all John needed to cradle Sherlock in his arms while he processed the information. After a few moments, Sherlock pulled back, “John. You fancy me.” All Sherlock could think about was how happy he was and that he needed to tell John that he reciprocated, but he just couldn’t find the words. 

Sherlock looked into John’s eyes, hoping to convey what he wanted with a look, but he still got a perplexed look, so Sherlock did the only thing left. He lifted his right hand and cupped John’s face and lifted his left hand and put it on John’s back. John sighed and his eyes closed as he leaned into the caress and Sherlock leaned in until he was an inch away from John’s face, but before he could hesitate, John closed the gap as the breeze swirled around them bringing the scent of lilacs to their noses. 

The kiss started out hesitant and unsure, but soon became tender and sure. Slowly, John pulled away, eyes fluttering open and lips parted slightly. 

Clearing his throat, Sherlock said with a slight rasp to his voice, “I fancy you too, I just couldn’t find the words. My sole purpose in going for this walk was to tell you, but you managed before me.” He smiled, eyes shining bright. 

John laughed and reached out for Sherlock again, “I’m so glad I found you.” 

They kissed again and as they did, somewhere their snowflakes had joined and created a new shape, their lives entwining as Sherlock’s and John’s had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an epilogue left!


	7. John and Sherlock: Joining of Souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't bring myself to write a proper proposal scene, so you got this instead.

As the wind picks up even further, time also speeds up. Sherlock and John’s lives have lapsed into post-university and into a time of love, happiness and adventure. Looking down on their world of white we see something exciting and beautiful: a union of souls.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
John is standing in a snowy wooded clearing, with a radiant smile on his face in a beautiful white suit with a boutonniere of ivy representing marriage, the bond friendship and lasting affection eagerly awaiting Sherlock’s journey down the snowy path that leads to him so they can pledge themselves to each other in marriage.

Sherlock was wearing a black suit with matching holly boutonniere and is wearing an equally radiant smile as he comes walking down the path that leads to John. When they reach each other, they clasp hands and turn to Mycroft who is officiating the wedding. 

Both Sherlock and John decided to write their own vows based off the journey that had taken to get to that point.

“John if you would say your vows please” 

John looks at Sherlock with tears in his eyes and says “Sherlock we’ve been through a lot, good and bad, separately and together and I can honestly say that you’re not only my best friend, but someone who I’ll cherish for the rest of my days and beyond. I promise to take care of you and love you and rely on you as my equal. I love you, Sherlock, now and for always.” And with that, John slips a beautiful platinum band with swirls surrounding the ring onto his long, slender finger. 

“And now with your vows, Sherlock.”

It’s Sherlock’s turn to smile and clasp John’s hand in his “My dear John Watson, back when we met in that first class I knew you would impact my life, I never knew that you would impact it this much. I was going through a rough time and you seeped your way into my heart and became my conductor of light. I can’t thank you enough for that. You’ve seen me at my worst and my best and you managed to love me for me. You saved me and are to this day and for eternity, my greatest and truest friend. I love you, John, now and for always.” And Sherlock slipped and identical band to his onto John’s finger. 

“You are now pronounced husband and husband. You may now kiss one another.” 

And then John brought his hands up to Sherlock’s face; one resting on his cheek and the other at the nape of his neck, and he leaned in and brought Sherlock’s lips to his in a kiss filled with promise and joy. When they broke apart their cheeks both flush from the cold, they clasped hands, thanked Mycroft and walked back down the path; the one that would lead them to new adventures and new memories, but no matter what, they would do it together. They continued walking, as snow silently fell around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After over two years, I finally finished this! 
> 
> And so they lived happily until the end of their days. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this as much as I (mostly) enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> New fic coming soon...
> 
> Find me on tumblr: divine529

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on tumblr by the same name (divine529)
> 
> I have also created a tag with the name of this fic over there where you can see pictures and I'll post about my progress on the fic over there. 
> 
> I will try to update regularly but no guarantees. Most likely next update will be in a few weeks.


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